You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
