I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
