onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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