How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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