So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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