Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
