morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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