It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
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