Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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