that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
