The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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