My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
