So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
