Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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