glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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