If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
