i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
organizing the empties. That sober.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
