C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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