i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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