I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
