I swear she didn't look like that last week.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Randomize
