This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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