did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
