youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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