i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
