yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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