I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
