Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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