everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
