Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
