I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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