Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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