Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
