Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Is Oprah even human
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
