I feel great
I just peed on a car
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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