Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
