Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Houston, we have a blender
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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