just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
