so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Farmville is her only friend.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Randomize
