fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
