i may or may not be watching the land before time
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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