We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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