Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
