HIV tests are more positive than that guy
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
