i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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