Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize