Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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