I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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