handjob tips. give me some.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
