Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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