You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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