i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
