it wasn't lemon gatorade
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
