marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
